Christmas Defined!

We are less than a week away from Christmas — a Christian holiday honoring the birth of Jesus Christ — and I just happened to look up the word (and the word “holiday”) in The Cynic’s Dictionary where I found a couple of quotations that define this holiday a bit differently.  And while I teeter on the edge of sacrilege and irreverence, the accuracy (and humor) of these definitions/quotations was just too good to pass up.  So allow me to beg forgiveness in advance.

Christmas is . . .

“That magical time of year when all of your money disappears.”  (Hal Roach)

“The time of year when you put too many pounds onto your body . . . and take too many out of your bank account.”  (Mary Mannion)

Holidays are . . .

“Time off given to employees to remind them that the company they work for can get along fine without them.”  (Louise Norris)

“What makes you feel good enough to go back to work, and poor enough so that you have to.”  (Reverend James Simpson)

“Things people who are bored with their jobs take.”  (Madonna)


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