The Tooth-Drawer, Part Two!

Here is the continuation of “The Tooth-Drawer” generally attributed to Thomas, the sixth Earl of Harrington (circa 1730).  The first part of this poem poem was posted yesterday.  Enjoy!

The Tooth-Drawer (Part 2)

. . . continued from Part 1 one which was posted yesterday.

Though Kitty was overjoyed at this,
She took his coldness much amiss;
She thought her beauty might inspire
Old age itself with strong desire;
But since he had her charms despoised,
And that a single kiss sufficed,
She meant no more to lose her time,
But use her beauty in her prime;
The surgeon should her wants supply,
And rifle her virginity.
“No more,” said she, “shall Dick complain,
“That he has loved me but in vain;
“To-morrow shall his triumph see,
“When he may take revenge on me;”
This resolution eased her breast,
And she sunk down to quiet rest.

The aged person rose by day,
He kissed his fair one, and away,
Who for her much-loved Richard sent,
He came and gave her great content;
Her virgin fort with vigor stormed,
And, lover-like, his part performed:
Nor did he stay to toy and kiss,
But sought for more substantial bliss;
While Kitty did his love commend,
And wished the rapture never might end.

But short, alas! are all our joys,
Our greatest pleasure soonest cloys;
As, to her grief, poor Kitty knew,
Her rampant lover weary grew,
He kissed, but could no farther go;
This filler her loving breast with woe,
And, deeply sighing, looked with sorrow:
“Dear Dick,” said she, “come back to-morrow.”

Next day, and Richard with it, came,
And gave great pleasure to the dame.

While thus they did their time employ,
And pass their hours in love and joy,
The husband in his closet stayed,
Never dreaming of the pranks they played,
But was overjoyed to find his wife,
So easy in her state of life,
She showed no heat nor youthful fire,
But, free from lust and loose desire,
Slept well at night, and in the day
Was never vexed, but always gay:
This made him lead a happy life,
And in his soul admire his wife.

One day the doctor did intend
To ride some miles to see a friend:
Kitty complained that she had got
An inflammation in her throat,
And that she meant to draw a tooth
That gave her pain, and spoiled her mouth,
And that the torture would undo her
Unless she sent the surgeon to her.
Away he went, the surgeon came,
And in his arms he took the dame:
Down on the bed the lovers lie,
Never thinking that a child was by;
To love they fell with all their might,
And in the pastime took delight:
Oft he was vanquished in her arms;
But Kitty had so many charms,
That, with a long tongue-touching kiss,
She roused him to renew the bliss.
Thus, winged with joy, their moments flew,
Till love almost insipid grew:
Away the languid lover went,
And she was for that time content.

Back to the house the parson came,
To see his poor afflicted dame:
The first he met with was his boy,
His favorite and greatest joy!
“Twas he who in the room was hid,
And saw what Kate and Richard did.
“Tell me,” said he, “my little life,
“How is it with my dearest wife?”
“Did Richard come and pull her tooth?”
“Yes,” said the boy, “and on my truth.
“It was both long, and large, and white:
“I vow it put me in a fright:
“I wish it do mamma no harm,
“For ’twas almost as long as my arm.”

Note: printed on the page following the title page was the following: “from a collection of poems that have been generally ascribed to Thomas, sixth Earl of Harrington. He was the son of Charles, the fifth Earl, and Margaret Lesslie, Countess of Rothes; and fought on the Royal side at the battle of Shirreffmuir, along with his brother John Lesslie, Earl of Rothes, and his own son, Lord Binning. These poems, according to Pinkerton, were printed about 1730, and have been reprinted in 1753, 1765, 1767, and 1777. He was also the author of Mia treatise on forest trees, which has gone through several editions. He died in 1735.” However, if these dates are correct (and I am by no means an expert historian in such matters), these poems could only have been written by either the first or second Earl of Harrington (William Stanhope and W.S. Jr.).

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