Groan Before Reading!

I’m going to warn you in advance . . . here are some limericks that are real groaners.  And, they all have to do with mathematics.  Enjoy!

The Möbius strip is a thing,
Which somewhat resembles a ring.
But given the strength,
To travel its length,
You still haven’t done anything.
OKIE POKE

An arithmetic teacher names Jones,
Was reduced by the new math to groans.
And shortly expired,
Since he has not retired,
He now serves as Napier’s Bones.
EDWIN A. ROSENBERG

A little old lady from Becimal,
Arrested for stealing a decimal,
Was thrown in the joint,
The judge missed the point,
The sentence was infinitesimal.
M.L. GOODELL

To measure one really must try,
To learn about deci and centi,
Cause butter you know,
Will sell by kilo,
And a liter of bread you can’t buy.
OKIE POKE

Great mathematicians ’tis true,
Don’t think like both me and you,
They often abhor,
The idea that four
Is as simple as two plus two.
OKIE POKE

A modern mathematician,
When asked to do an addition,
Responded at once,
“Me add, you dunce!
That’s only a part of tradition.”
OKIE POKE

The calculator, per se,
Is always right in its way.
The problem you see,
Is usually me,
‘Cause the dern thing does what I say.
OKIE POKE

A mathematician so keen,
While programming a super machine,
Made an extension,
To an unknown dimension,
And never again was seen.
OKIE POKE

Source: “Mathematics and Humor,” Aggie Vinik, Linda Silvey, and Barnabas Hughes (eds.), p. 50.

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