Archive for March 5th, 2017

For the Pun of It!

March 5, 2017

I haven’t tortured you with any puns lately, so here are few for entertainment purposes (groaning is allowed).

  • Don’t spell part backwards. It’s a trap.
  • When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.
  • I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
  • How did I escape Iraq? Iran.
  • I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
  • Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She ran away from the ball.
  • Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
  • I’m glad I know sign language, it’s pretty handy.
  • A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
  • eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.
  • A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason… details are sketchy.
  • What was Forrest Gump’s email password? “1forrest1”
  • Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey.
  • What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic
  • My math teacher called me average. How mean!
  • Last time I got caught stealing a calendar I got 12 months.
  • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  • Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
  • Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch? A: “Beef Jerky!”
  • The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.

That’s probably enough, for now . . . enjoy the rest of your weekend!