I haven’t tortured you with any puns lately, so here are few for entertainment purposes (groaning is allowed).
- Don’t spell part backwards. It’s a trap.
- When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.
- I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
- How did I escape Iraq? Iran.
- I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
- Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She ran away from the ball.
- Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
- I’m glad I know sign language, it’s pretty handy.
- A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
- eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.
- A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason… details are sketchy.
- What was Forrest Gump’s email password? “1forrest1”
- Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey.
- What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic
- My math teacher called me average. How mean!
- Last time I got caught stealing a calendar I got 12 months.
- Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
- Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch? A: “Beef Jerky!”
- The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
That’s probably enough, for now . . . enjoy the rest of your weekend!