Archive for the ‘Libraries’ Category

Poking Fun at the Library!

September 28, 2017

Here are some “groaners” on libraries, librarians, and books.  Enjoy!

What is the tallest building in the world?
The library, because it has the most stories.

What do you call a South American librarian who is always in a hurry?
Urgent Tina.

What do you call a teacher who never farts in the library?
A private tutor.

What do you call a book that’s about the brain?
A mind reader.

Why did the librarian win a Lifetime Achievement Award?
She had a storied career.

What’s the longest word in the dictionary?
Smiles. Because there is a mile between each s.

What section of the library can you get biten by a snake?
Hissssssstory.

What has a spine but, no bones?
A book

What did the librarian say to the astronaut?
Find space for a book.

What happened to the ____________ National Library?
Someone stole the book.

 

What did the surfer say to the librarian?
Is my book over dude?

Why did the student throw a book at the Librarian?
He wanted to Face-Book her.

What do Turkish librarians eat for lunch?
Shhhh Kebabs.

What did the frog say when he landed on a book?
Reddit! Reddit! Reddit!

 

Did you hear about the power outage at the _______________ University library?
Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

What do you get when you cross a librarian and a lawyer?
All the information in the world, but you can’t understand a word of it.

Did you hear about the _____________ University Library fire that burned 20 books?
The real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet.

I got hit in the head by a falling book once, I mean, I only have my shelf to blame.

The librarian gave the scientist a book about Helium and he just couldn’t put it down.

You must work in a library because you just increased my circulation!

Source: http://www.jokes4us.com/peoplejokes/librarianjokes.html

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A Librarian’s Alphabet!

September 14, 2017

As I was aimlessly surfing the internet the other day, I stumbled upon this humorous take on the alphabet through the eyes of a librarian.

It starts . . . “A is for Access, a large part of our creed” . . . and continues through “Z is for
Libraries. (In LC classification!)”

Here’s the entire alphabet.  Enjoy!

LibraryHumor.com by Denise Plourde is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 United States License.

 

Don’t Groan Too Loudly!

April 8, 2017

Happy Saturday!  Here’s a joke that I ran across the other day . . . it spans both my careers (law enforcement and librarianship) and even has a bit of a pun/play on words at the end.  Enjoy!

A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat.

He stopped the car and asked, “Why, Irish Mike, this wouldn’t be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?”

“That it is,” Irish Mike replied grimly, “ever since I arrested the judge on his way to the masquerade ball.”

“You mean you pinched his honor?” asked Pat.

“How was I to know that his convict suit was only a costume?” demanded Mike.

“Well,” mused Pat, “there’s a lesson in this somewhere.”

“That there is,” replied Irish Mike….” ‘Tis wise never to book a judge by his cover.”

The Borrower!

March 26, 2017

Happy Sunday!  As we begin the wrap-up th weekend, how about a bit of library humor?  Enjoy!

A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, “I have a complaint!”

“Yes, Ma’am?” said the librarian looking up at her.
“I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible.”

Puzzled by her complaint the librarian asked, “What was wrong with it?”
“It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever,” said the blonde.

The librarian nodded and said, “Ahhh. So you must be the person who took our phone book.”

Library Version!

March 11, 2017

Happy Saturday.  Here is a librarian parody of Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” that was making the rounds on Facebook last month.  Thank you Shoalhaven Library (Nowra, New South Wales, Australia)  Enjoy!

Reading in Fundamental!

December 17, 2016

I remember well the “Reading is FUNdamental” campaign from the mid-60s (and celebrating their 50th Anniversary this year [2016]).  This nonprofit organization was one of the earliest advocates for improving children’s literacy in the United States.  Some quick facts (from http://www.rif.org):

  • 65% = the number of  fourth-graders who can’t read at the 4th-grade level.
  • 80% = the number of low-income children who are “at-risk” of falling behind in school.
  • 8,000 = the number of high school students who dropout each day.

I’m certainly grateful for my literacy and cannot imagine the inability to read.  Here are some of my favorite quotations on the topic of reading.  Enjoy!

“The man who doesn’t read has no advantage over the man who can’t read.” (Author unknown)

“A good book should leave you… slightly exhausted at the end. You live several lives while reading it.”  (William Styron)

“Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book.” (Author unknown)

“You know you’ve read a good book when you turn the last page and feel a little as if you have lost a friend.”  (Paul Sweeney)

“We read in bed because reading is halfway between life and dreaming, our own consciousness in someone else’s mind.”  (Anna Quindlen)

“Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”  (Mark Twain)

“It is better to have your nose in a book than in someone else’s business.”  (Adam Stanley)

Some Librarian Humor!

November 22, 2016

Here’s an oldie, but a goodie based upon the book “Book! Book! Book!” by Deborah Bruss.

A librarian was working late one night at a small-town library. She had the door open for a breeze, and a chicken walked in, hopped up on the desk, and said, “Book, book, book!”

The librarian was a bit startled, but she quickly handed the chicken three books. The chicken put one under each wing, one in its beak, and walked out.

A few minutes later, the chicken returned, dropped those three books on the floor, hopped up on the counter, and said, “Book, book, book!”

Once again, the librarian gave the chicken three books, the chicken tucked one under each wing, took the third in its beak, and walked out.

It must be a full moon tonight, thought the librarian, getting back to her work. Of course, since everything in jokes comes in threes, the chicken came back. It dropped the books on the floor, hopped up, and said, “Book, book, book!”

This time, the librarian decided to get to the bottom of this. She gave three books to the chicken, and when it walked away, she followed it. They went across the parking lot, down into a ditch, and through a damp culvert. Good thing I wore my sensible shoes, she thought. They emerged into a little moonlit pool. There, the chicken stopped in front of the largest bullfrog the librarian had ever seen. He took one look at the books the chicken was carrying and croaked, “Read it, read it, read it!”

Source: this joke was a portion of a children’s book, Book! Book! Book! by Deborah Bruss

Better Late Than Never!

July 24, 2016

I know it is already July and I should have posted this message back in January, but 2016 marks the 50th anniversary of the Batman television series, starring Adam West (Batman) and Burt Ward (Robin) as the dynamic duo — the official starting date of the series: January 12, 1966; the series ran until March 14, 1968.  And, in honor of this event, here is a bit of librarian humor that I just had to share.  Ah, the memories of “POWS,” and “BAMS.” The novelty of the program made this show an instant hit. Unfortunately, the novelty eventually faded and the campy humor wasn’t sustainable past a couple of seasons.  Twas a simpler and less sophisticated type of television programming, but very entertaining (especially to the younger crowd/audience).  Enjoy!

Long Live the Book!

June 18, 2016

The data presented in this infographic is a few years old now, but an interesting validation nonetheless.

book-not-dead

Movers & Shakers 2016!

March 23, 2016

Movers2016Congratulations to the 2016 class of Movers & Shakers!  With this year’s class (the fifteenth), the number of Movers has grown to over 750 librarians making a difference.  Each year Library Journal seeks nominations and asks for help in identifying the emerging leaders in the library world. Profiled here are the  up-and-coming individuals from around the world who are innovative, creative, and making a difference.

These fifty-four librarians being honored fit into one of six categories: Advocates, Change Agents, Community Builders, Educators, Innovators, and Tech Leaders.

Allow me to give a shout-out to SLA member Mila Pollock for being recognized in this year’s class.  Congratulations Mila!

Here’s a map showing the breakdown of all Movers & Shakers by State and Country.