Archive for the ‘Limerick’ Category

Groan Before Reading!

April 20, 2016

I’m going to warn you in advance . . . here are some limericks that are real groaners.  And, they all have to do with mathematics.  Enjoy!

The Möbius strip is a thing,
Which somewhat resembles a ring.
But given the strength,
To travel its length,
You still haven’t done anything.

An arithmetic teacher names Jones,
Was reduced by the new math to groans.
And shortly expired,
Since he has not retired,
He now serves as Napier’s Bones.

A little old lady from Becimal,
Arrested for stealing a decimal,
Was thrown in the joint,
The judge missed the point,
The sentence was infinitesimal.

To measure one really must try,
To learn about deci and centi,
Cause butter you know,
Will sell by kilo,
And a liter of bread you can’t buy.

Great mathematicians ’tis true,
Don’t think like both me and you,
They often abhor,
The idea that four
Is as simple as two plus two.

A modern mathematician,
When asked to do an addition,
Responded at once,
“Me add, you dunce!
That’s only a part of tradition.”

The calculator, per se,
Is always right in its way.
The problem you see,
Is usually me,
‘Cause the dern thing does what I say.

A mathematician so keen,
While programming a super machine,
Made an extension,
To an unknown dimension,
And never again was seen.

Source: “Mathematics and Humor,” Aggie Vinik, Linda Silvey, and Barnabas Hughes (eds.), p. 50.

Some Limericks!

September 1, 2015

While I was on vacation, my dad shared with me a few rather politically incorrect limericks poking fun at a few politicians. By definition (courtesy of wikipedia), a limerick is “a form of poetry, especially one in five-line anapestic meter with a strict rhyme scheme (AABBA), which is sometimes obscene with humorous intent.” Here are some more “fun” ones (the authors are unknown or anonymous) that are less obscene than many I’ve heard previously, but still plenty funny.  Enjoy!

The limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical.
But the good ones I’ve seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

There was an Old Man of Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
His daughter, called Nan,
Ran away with a man,
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

A bather whose clothing was strewed
By winds that left her quite nude
Saw a man come along
And unless we are wrong
You expected this line to be lewd.

There once was a young lady named bright
Whose speed was much faster than light
She set out one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.

For some more examples, check out the following sites: