Archive for the ‘Police Officers’ Category

The Prankster Policeman!

June 26, 2018

Practical jokes can be fun.  I’m not sure I would enjoy being “pranked” this way, but it certainly is funny.

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Some More Police Humor!

May 26, 2018

Happy Saturday!  Here is a new batch of groaners.  Enjoy!

Q.:  Why was the picture sent to jail?
A.:  It was framed.

Q.:  How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A.:  None, it turned itself in.

Q.:  Why did the chicken cross the road?
A.:  We don’t know, but give us five minutes with the chicken and we’ll find out.

A police recruit was asked during the exam, “What would you do if you
had to arrest your own mother?”
He said: “Call for backup.”

A police man pulls over a drunk driver for not stopping at a stop sign and asks the driver if he saw the stop sign. The driver replies “I did but it turned red too fast for me to stop.”

A crook rented an apartment over a police station.
He feels he is “above the law, now!”

National Police Week, 2018!

May 14, 2018

bannerPolice Week officially began yesterday and continues through Saturday (May 19th), a week in which we honor those that have paid the ultimate sacrifice in their communities.

Here is the official schedule of events.

Here is the Roll Call of Heroes.

We will never forget!

Tulsa Police Officers’ Memorial, 2018!

May 5, 2018

Today we honor those Tulsa police officers who have been killed in the line of duty.  And while they may be gone, they will never be forgotten.   Here’s Alan Jackson’s version of Amazing Grace.

Pillars of Health!

April 18, 2018

I recently read an article about health and police officers and discovered that a heart attack claims more that sixty (60) times the number of officers than any other kind of violent incident or attack.  These “pillars” are fairly sound advice for anyone (not just the law enforcement community).

Pillar #1 — Sleep (you need to get 7-8 good hours of sleep per night).

Pillar #2 — Food (what you eat [nutritious] and how much you eat [moderation] are important).

Pillar #3 — Exercise (get started doing something [don’t over do it] and get into a routine; consistency is the key, but remember, you can’t “outrun your diet”).

Pillar #4 — Supplements (a basic multi-vitamin is a great place to start to fill any nutritional gaps in your diet).

 

The Papal Chauffeur!

December 28, 2017

Happy Thursday!  As we “race” to the weekend, here is a funny speeding joke.

While the pope was visiting the USA, he told the driver of his limo that he has the sudden urge to drive. The driver was a good Catholic man, and would not ever dream of questioning the pope’s authority. So the pope sat at the wheel, while his driver got in the back.

They were traveling down the road doing between 70 and 80 mph, when a policeman happened to see them. As he pulled them over, he called in to headquarters reporting a speeding limo, with a VIP inside it.

The chief asked: “Who is in the limo, the mayor?”
The policeman told him: “No, someone more important than the mayor.”

Then the chief asked “Is it the governor?”
The policeman answered: “No, someone more important than the governor.”

The chief finally asked: “Is it the President?”
The policeman answered: “No, someone even more important than the President.”

This made the chief very angry and he bellowed: “Now who is more important than the President?!”
The policeman calmly whispered: “I’ll put it to you this way chief. I don’t know who is this guy, but he has the pope as his chauffeur.”

Source: http://www.workjoke.com

The “Bee” Team!

August 24, 2017

Talk about a non-traditional role . . .  were you aware of the fact that the New York City Police Department has a couple of on-staff beekeepers?  Back in 1994, one of the new recruits (Anthony Planakis) was an avid beekeeper (as a hobby . . . he was a fourth generation beekeeper).  He has been helping out with bee infestations and swarms in the New York City area for years.  Planakis recently retired (2014), but the beekeeper role has been filled, as of 2015, and two officers now work in this capacity as needed.    Very cool indeed!

They even have an official twitter account!

Read the full story here.

 

A Lesson on Materialism!

May 11, 2017

One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when all of a sudden an eighteen-wheeler came out of nowhere and took of the driver’s side door with him standing right there.

“NOOO!” he screamed, because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it never would be the same.

Finally, a cop came by, and the lawyer ran up to him yelling: “MY JAGUAR DOOR WAS JUST RUINED BY SOME FOOLISH DRIVER!”

“You are a lawyer aren’t you?” asked the policeman.

“Yes, I am, but what does this have to do with my car?” the lawyer asked.

“HA! You lawyers are always so materialistic. All you care about is your possessions. I bet you didn’t even notice that your left arm is missing did you?” the cop said.

The lawyer looked down at his side and exclaimed “MY ROLEX!”

Tulsa Police Officers’ Memorial, 2017!

May 6, 2017

The first Saturday of May is the day that the Tulsa Police Department honors its fallen. This year marks the 100th year Anniversary of Tulsa’s first line of duty death (Sgt. John Herrod who died November 9, 1917, as the result of a gunshot wound when his pistol accidentally fell out of its holster).  Here is a touching version of “Amazing Grace” . . . rest in piece, brothers and sisters.   We will never forget.

Don’t Groan Too Loudly!

April 8, 2017

Happy Saturday!  Here’s a joke that I ran across the other day . . . it spans both my careers (law enforcement and librarianship) and even has a bit of a pun/play on words at the end.  Enjoy!

A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat.

He stopped the car and asked, “Why, Irish Mike, this wouldn’t be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?”

“That it is,” Irish Mike replied grimly, “ever since I arrested the judge on his way to the masquerade ball.”

“You mean you pinched his honor?” asked Pat.

“How was I to know that his convict suit was only a costume?” demanded Mike.

“Well,” mused Pat, “there’s a lesson in this somewhere.”

“That there is,” replied Irish Mike….” ‘Tis wise never to book a judge by his cover.”