Posts Tagged ‘Libraries’

Poking Fun at the Library!

September 28, 2017

Here are some “groaners” on libraries, librarians, and books.  Enjoy!

What is the tallest building in the world?
The library, because it has the most stories.

What do you call a South American librarian who is always in a hurry?
Urgent Tina.

What do you call a teacher who never farts in the library?
A private tutor.

What do you call a book that’s about the brain?
A mind reader.

Why did the librarian win a Lifetime Achievement Award?
She had a storied career.

What’s the longest word in the dictionary?
Smiles. Because there is a mile between each s.

What section of the library can you get biten by a snake?
Hissssssstory.

What has a spine but, no bones?
A book

What did the librarian say to the astronaut?
Find space for a book.

What happened to the ____________ National Library?
Someone stole the book.

 

What did the surfer say to the librarian?
Is my book over dude?

Why did the student throw a book at the Librarian?
He wanted to Face-Book her.

What do Turkish librarians eat for lunch?
Shhhh Kebabs.

What did the frog say when he landed on a book?
Reddit! Reddit! Reddit!

 

Did you hear about the power outage at the _______________ University library?
Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

What do you get when you cross a librarian and a lawyer?
All the information in the world, but you can’t understand a word of it.

Did you hear about the _____________ University Library fire that burned 20 books?
The real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet.

I got hit in the head by a falling book once, I mean, I only have my shelf to blame.

The librarian gave the scientist a book about Helium and he just couldn’t put it down.

You must work in a library because you just increased my circulation!

Source: http://www.jokes4us.com/peoplejokes/librarianjokes.html

Advertisements

A Librarian’s Alphabet!

September 14, 2017

As I was aimlessly surfing the internet the other day, I stumbled upon this humorous take on the alphabet through the eyes of a librarian.

It starts . . . “A is for Access, a large part of our creed” . . . and continues through “Z is for
Libraries. (In LC classification!)”

Here’s the entire alphabet.  Enjoy!

LibraryHumor.com by Denise Plourde is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 United States License.

 

The Borrower!

March 26, 2017

Happy Sunday!  As we begin the wrap-up th weekend, how about a bit of library humor?  Enjoy!

A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, “I have a complaint!”

“Yes, Ma’am?” said the librarian looking up at her.
“I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible.”

Puzzled by her complaint the librarian asked, “What was wrong with it?”
“It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever,” said the blonde.

The librarian nodded and said, “Ahhh. So you must be the person who took our phone book.”

Library Version!

March 11, 2017

Happy Saturday.  Here is a librarian parody of Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” that was making the rounds on Facebook last month.  Thank you Shoalhaven Library (Nowra, New South Wales, Australia)  Enjoy!

Better Late Than Never!

July 24, 2016

I know it is already July and I should have posted this message back in January, but 2016 marks the 50th anniversary of the Batman television series, starring Adam West (Batman) and Burt Ward (Robin) as the dynamic duo — the official starting date of the series: January 12, 1966; the series ran until March 14, 1968.  And, in honor of this event, here is a bit of librarian humor that I just had to share.  Ah, the memories of “POWS,” and “BAMS.” The novelty of the program made this show an instant hit. Unfortunately, the novelty eventually faded and the campy humor wasn’t sustainable past a couple of seasons.  Twas a simpler and less sophisticated type of television programming, but very entertaining (especially to the younger crowd/audience).  Enjoy!

Some Librarian Humor!

January 4, 2016

Happy Monday!  As we return to work from the holiday break, how about a little humor to ease into the week?

So, how many librarians does it take to change a light bulb?  That probably depends on the type of librarian.

How many academic librarians does it take to change a light bulb?
Just five. One changes the light bulb while the other four form a committee and write a letter of protest to the Dean, because after all, changing light bulbs IS NOT professional work!

How many catalogers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but they have to wait to see how LC does it first.

How many cataloguers does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one provided it is in AACR2.

How many reference librarians does it take to change a light bulb?
“Well, I don’t know right off-hand, but I know where we can look it up!”

How many reference librarians does it take to change a light bulb?
None if it has a LCSH heading.

How many library system managers does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them as the manual was lost in the last move (or flood).

How many library managers does it take to change a light bulb?
At least one committee and a light bulb strategy focus meeting and plan.

How many library technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven. One to follow approved procedure, and six to review the procedure. (8 if you count the librarian they all report to)

For some additional library humor, check out this web page.

Source: http://archive.ifla.org/I/humour/humour.htm

Books We Won’t Get To Read!

June 4, 2015

Are you aware of the international project (the Future Library) in Oslo, Norway, that is starting to collect unpublished books that won’t be made available until the year 2114?  The project will have one author contribute a new, unread text to the collection every year for the next 100 years. The idea is that these works would then be kept locked up until 2114, when the 1,000 trees, that have been planted for the project in a forest just outside Oslo, will be harvested to provide the paper for the printing of these books.

The first author to be given this opportunity: Margaret Atwood, the Toronto-based Man Booker prize winner.  On May 26th, she handed over the manuscript in a simple ceremony amongst the newly planted trees.  We don’t know exactly how long this book is (it was delivered in a closed box), but Ms. Atwood did reveal the title: “Scribbler Moon.”

David Stephen Mitchell is slated to be the next contributor in 2016.  David has written six novels (two of which have been shortlisted for the Man Booker Prize [number9dream and Cloud Atlas]).

The Importance of Libraries!

December 5, 2014

I’ll be the first to admit that as a librarian myself, I may be a bit biased in this regard, but judging from these other quotations (below), I know that I’m not alone.  Libraries have always been an important part of my life.  Both of my parents had been librarians and they were constantly stressing the value of books, reading, education, the quest for knowledge, etc.  Here are some other quotations about libraries and their importance.

“A library is not a luxury but one of the necessities of life.” (Henry Ward Beecher)

“If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.” (Marcus Tullius Cicero)

“I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.” (Jorge Luis Borges)

“A library is the delivery room for the birth of ideas, a place where history comes to life.”  (Norman Cousins)

“What is more important in a library than anything else – than everything else – is the fact that it exists.”  (Archibald MacLeish)

“Everything you need for better future and success has already been written. And guess what? All you have to do is go to the library.” (Henri Frederic Amiel)

I could go on, but I’m hoping you’ve gotten the message.

Libraries are Amazing!

September 23, 2014

I’ll admit to having a little bit of a bias in this regard, but here is a wonderful infographic (Checking Out America’s Libraries — courtesy of H&R Block) that highlights all of the wonderful benefits of America’s libraries.  And I find it very reassuring to discover that the U.S. has more libraries than McDonald’s restaurants.  Enjoy!

American-libraries-by-the-numbers-infographic-840x4725-e1410126224253

Here’s to Libraries, Number Twenty-Eight!

August 13, 2014

Library_28Strahov Monastery Library, Prague, Czechoslovakia.   The Strahov library book collections contain approximately 200,000 volumes, estimated to hold 260,000 works. The books are stored in the two halls and in adjacent depositories. Many of the works are old prints printed between 1501 and 1800. The library’s incunabula (firstprints) (over 1,500 volumes) and manuscripts (approximately 3,000 sheaves) are also valuable and are stored in a special treasury room.  The library has had a rather dicey history but has managed to survive regardless.

“Having fun isn’t hard when you’ve got a library card.”  (Arthur)

Source: photo courtesy of danieldalton.me  (BuzzFeed).