Posts Tagged ‘Police’

Pillars of Health!

April 18, 2018

I recently read an article about health and police officers and discovered that a heart attack claims more that sixty (60) times the number of officers than any other kind of violent incident or attack.  These “pillars” are fairly sound advice for anyone (not just the law enforcement community).

Pillar #1 — Sleep (you need to get 7-8 good hours of sleep per night).

Pillar #2 — Food (what you eat [nutritious] and how much you eat [moderation] are important).

Pillar #3 — Exercise (get started doing something [don’t over do it] and get into a routine; consistency is the key, but remember, you can’t “outrun your diet”).

Pillar #4 — Supplements (a basic multi-vitamin is a great place to start to fill any nutritional gaps in your diet).

 

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The Papal Chauffeur!

December 28, 2017

Happy Thursday!  As we “race” to the weekend, here is a funny speeding joke.

While the pope was visiting the USA, he told the driver of his limo that he has the sudden urge to drive. The driver was a good Catholic man, and would not ever dream of questioning the pope’s authority. So the pope sat at the wheel, while his driver got in the back.

They were traveling down the road doing between 70 and 80 mph, when a policeman happened to see them. As he pulled them over, he called in to headquarters reporting a speeding limo, with a VIP inside it.

The chief asked: “Who is in the limo, the mayor?”
The policeman told him: “No, someone more important than the mayor.”

Then the chief asked “Is it the governor?”
The policeman answered: “No, someone more important than the governor.”

The chief finally asked: “Is it the President?”
The policeman answered: “No, someone even more important than the President.”

This made the chief very angry and he bellowed: “Now who is more important than the President?!”
The policeman calmly whispered: “I’ll put it to you this way chief. I don’t know who is this guy, but he has the pope as his chauffeur.”

Source: http://www.workjoke.com

Fun Fact Friday, Number Fifty-Five!

December 22, 2017

The category for today’s trivial imponderable is “language/initials/mottos.”  Do you know when the English word “pig” was first used as a pejorative term for a police officer?

Sorry, it was not the 1960s during the Civil Rights era.  Rather, in the early nineteenth century, “pig” was used and applied to plainclothes policemen in London.  However, in languages other than English, the term was used much earlier (e.g., when the children of Israel condemned the Roman police authorities long before the nineteenth century).

Source: Sorry, Wrong Answer: Trivia Questions That Even Know-It-Alls Get Wrong, by Dr. Rod L. Evans.

Stupid, Trouble, and Shut Up!

November 16, 2017

Happy Monday!  Let’s start the new work week with a real groaner . . . enjoy!

One Day Stupid, Trouble, and Shut Up were driving along in their car when Trouble suddenly hurled himself out of the window.

Well, Stupid and Shut Up did not know what to do so they went to the police station.

When they got there the chief asked them their names.

“Shut Up”, replied Shut Up.
“Stupid”, replied Stupid.

The police chief thought these people were telling him to shut up, and were calling him stupid. Which made him very mad.

“Excuse Me!” shouted the chief.

Thinking the chief was hard of hearing, They once again shouted there names.

“Shut Up!”
“Stupid!”

The police chief was very riled. He then asked
“Are you looking for trouble?”!!!

Stunned at the idea of the chief knowing that they were looking for their friend, they replied,

“Why yes, how did you know?”

Source: https://unijokes.com/cop-jokes/13/

The Rabbi and the Priest . . . !

October 23, 2017

Happy Monday!  How about a bit of humor as we begin the new work week?

A Rabbi and a Priest are driving one day and, by a freak accident, have a head-on collision with tremendous force.

Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither of the clerics has a scratch on him.

After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest’s collar and says, “So you’re a priest. I’m a rabbi. Just look at our cars. There is nothing left, yet we are here, unhurt. This must be a sign from God!”

Pointing to the sky, he continues, “God must have meant that we should meet and share our lives in peace and friendship for the rest of our days on earth.”

The priest replies, “I agree with you completely. This must surely be a sign from God!”

The rabbi is looking at his car and exclaims, “And look at this! Here’s another miracle! My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of Mogen David wine did not break. Surely, God wants us to drink this wine and to celebrate our good fortune.”

The priest nods in agreement. The rabbi hands the bottle to the priest, who drinks half the bottle and hands the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap on, then hands it back to the priest.

The priest, baffled, asks, “Aren’t you having any, Rabbi?”

The rabbi replies, “Nah… I think I’ll wait for the police.”

Source: https://unijokes.com/cop-jokes/7/

The Job Interview!

September 23, 2017

Happy Saturday!  As we begin the weekend, how about a little police humor, just for grins?

The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer, who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket, went in to try out for the job.

“Okay,” the sheriff drawled, “Gomer, what is 1 and 1?”

“11” he replied.

The sheriff thought to himself, “That’s not what I meant, but he’s right.”
“What two days of the week start with the letter ‘T’?”
“Today and tomorrow.”

He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.  “Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?”

Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, “I don’t know.”

“Well, why don’t you go home and work on that one for a while?”

So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant. “It went great! First day on the job and I’m already working on a murder case!”

Source: https://unijokes.com/cop-jokes/5/

The “Bee” Team!

August 24, 2017

Talk about a non-traditional role . . .  were you aware of the fact that the New York City Police Department has a couple of on-staff beekeepers?  Back in 1994, one of the new recruits (Anthony Planakis) was an avid beekeeper (as a hobby . . . he was a fourth generation beekeeper).  He has been helping out with bee infestations and swarms in the New York City area for years.  Planakis recently retired (2014), but the beekeeper role has been filled, as of 2015, and two officers now work in this capacity as needed.    Very cool indeed!

They even have an official twitter account!

Read the full story here.

 

A Lesson on Materialism!

May 11, 2017

One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when all of a sudden an eighteen-wheeler came out of nowhere and took of the driver’s side door with him standing right there.

“NOOO!” he screamed, because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it never would be the same.

Finally, a cop came by, and the lawyer ran up to him yelling: “MY JAGUAR DOOR WAS JUST RUINED BY SOME FOOLISH DRIVER!”

“You are a lawyer aren’t you?” asked the policeman.

“Yes, I am, but what does this have to do with my car?” the lawyer asked.

“HA! You lawyers are always so materialistic. All you care about is your possessions. I bet you didn’t even notice that your left arm is missing did you?” the cop said.

The lawyer looked down at his side and exclaimed “MY ROLEX!”

Don’t Groan Too Loudly!

April 8, 2017

Happy Saturday!  Here’s a joke that I ran across the other day . . . it spans both my careers (law enforcement and librarianship) and even has a bit of a pun/play on words at the end.  Enjoy!

A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat.

He stopped the car and asked, “Why, Irish Mike, this wouldn’t be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?”

“That it is,” Irish Mike replied grimly, “ever since I arrested the judge on his way to the masquerade ball.”

“You mean you pinched his honor?” asked Pat.

“How was I to know that his convict suit was only a costume?” demanded Mike.

“Well,” mused Pat, “there’s a lesson in this somewhere.”

“That there is,” replied Irish Mike….” ‘Tis wise never to book a judge by his cover.”

Some Mid-Week Humor!

January 25, 2017

Happy Wednesday! Now that we’ve reached the mid-point of the week, how about a bit of levity to get us through the rest of the week and into the weekend?

An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man noticed that the lights were on in the greenhouse in the back yard.  He hadn’t remembered turning the lights on and went to investigate.

As he approached the greenhouse, the old man heard voices and discovered that someone had broken into the greenhouse.  Scared, he returned to the house and called the police.

The dispatcher replied, that no officers were currently available, but that an officer would be sent as soon as one became available.

The old man waited for a few minutes and called Dispatch again. He told Dispatch, “Don’t worry about sending an officer, I shot the robbers and now the dogs are eating their bodies!”

In no time at all, police were all over the place and captured the robbers red-handed!

One of the cops asked the old man, “I thought you said you shot the robber and your dogs were eating them.”

The old man replied, “I thought you said, there weren’t any officers available.”