Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Sentimentality!

May 24, 2018

Oxymorons (defined as “a figure of speech in which apparently contradictory terms appear in conjunction”) can be used as descriptions that can totally refute or topple conventional ways of thinking.  Here are a few examples using the word “sentimentality” (defined as “the quality of being excessively or extravagantly sentimental”).

“Sentimentality is the emotional promiscuity of those who have no sentiment.”  (Norman Mailer)

“Sentimentality, the ostentatious parading of excessive and spurious emotion, is the mark of dishonesty, the inability to feel.”  (James Baldwin)

“Sentimentality is the failure of feeling.”  (Wallace Stevens)

Source: oxymoronica by Dr. Martha Grode

 

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Some Early Week Humor!

May 22, 2018

Happy Tuesday!  Everybody likes “light bulb” jokes, right? (e.g., how many x does it take to change a light bulb?)  So today, we’ll examine this from the social work discipline.

Question: How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: One. But the light has to want to change.

Or, how about any one of these alternative answers:

  • “The light bulb doesn’t need changing, it’s the system that needs to change.”
  • None. Social workers never change anything.
  • None. They empower it to change itself!
  • None. The light bulb is not burnt out, it’s just differently lit.
  • None. They set up a team to write a paper on coping with darkness.
  • Two. One to change the bulb and another to put your kids into care.
  • Five. One to screw it in, three to form the support group, and one to help with placement.

 

More Oxymoronic Advice!

May 8, 2018

It seems as though everyone you encounter is willing to provide you advice at some point in time.  Here are a few examples of my favorites.

“If a person begins by telling you, ‘Do not be offended at what I am going to say,’ prepare yourself for something that she knows will certainly offend you.”  (Eliza Leslie)

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.”  (Elbert Hubbard)

“Stop running around after happiness.  If you make up your mind not to be happy there’s no reason why you shouldn’t have a fairly good time.”   (Edith Wharton)”

“If you are too careful, you are so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something.”  (Gertrude Stein)

“If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered.”  (Edgar Allan Poe)

Survival!

April 30, 2018

Survival_largeAh, the intersecting point between one’s journey and one’s destination.  And contrary to the reality depicted in this demotivator, it doesn’t always have to end badly.  In nature more often than not, it usually does . . . the whole “survival of the fittest” concept.  We all have our challenges in life, and on some days, to “survive” . . . get through the work day . . . get to the weekend . . . get to the next vacation . . . is good enough.  Keep the faith, and let’s try not to get eaten today!

Love and Marriage!

April 29, 2018

I am always on the lookout for unique books (or other sources) of humorous sayings or quotations.  Last week I acquired a couple of new books that fit the bill perfectly and will provide me with new content for my blog for years to come . . . and both address the topics of love and marriage.  And, while I have never been married myself, they seem to provide time-tested, sage advice from those in the trenches.

  • You’re the Butter on My Biscuit: And Other Country Sayin’s ’bout Love, Marriage,and Heartache by Allan Zullo and Gene Cheek.
  • How to Be Happy Though Married: Matrimonial Strife Through the Ages compiled by Emily Brand.

So, here’s the first snippet: A Question of Lust

After an all- nighter of passion, the young man whispers to his bride-to-be, “Sugar Lips, am I the first man to make love to you?”  “Of course you are, pumpkin,” she says.  Then she rolls her eyes and adds, “I don’t know why you men always ask me the same question.”

Source:  You’re the Butter on My Biscuit: And Other Country Sayin’s ’bout Love, Marriage,and Heartache by Allan Zullo and Gene Cheek.

King of the Oxymoron!

April 24, 2018

The world of literature has long been a breeding ground of the oxymoron (defined as a figure of speech in which apparently contradictory terms appear in conjunction).  One oxymoron in particular is, in my opinion, a veritable masterpiece: the opening of Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities . . .

It was the best of time, it was the worst of times,
it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness,
it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity,
it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness,
it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair,
we had everything before us, we had nothing before us,
we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way.

Source: oxymonoica by Dr. Martha Grode

A Well-Developed Conscience!

April 8, 2018

Having a conscience, the ability to judge the rightness or the wrongness of your behavior,  is something that develops over the course of time (as we mature).  It is usually taught to us by our parents about the behaviors that must be demonstrated to effectively operate within society.  Okay, that’s all well and good . . . but here are some additional “definitions” courtesy of The Cynic’s Dictionary.  Enjoy!

“What your mother told you before you were six years old.”  (Brock Chisolm)

“An anticipation of the opinions of others.”  (Henry Taylor)

“Ought-to suggestion.”  (H.L. Mencken)

“The thing that hurts when everything else feels good.”  (Hebert Prochnow)

“What makes cowards of us all.”  (William Shakespeare)

“What makes egotists of us all.”  (Oscar Wilde)

“The inner voice that warns us that someone may be looking.”  (H.L. Mencken)

“Something that doesn’t only make cowards of us all, but dyspeptics too.”  (Helen Simpson)

“What makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.”  (Franklin P. Jones)

Source: The Cynic’s Dictionary by Aubrey Dillon-Malone, p. 59-60.

Pulling Together!

March 31, 2018

PullingTogether_largeTeamwork.  This is what crosses my mind when I hear the phrase “pulling together.”  But as this demotivator (courtesy of www-dot-despair-dot-com) accurately points out, to be successful in a teamwork frame of reference, you have to be pulling in the same direction.  “Pulling together” in opposite directions is known as a tug-of-war.  In sports-speak, a tug-of-war is “a contest in which two teams pull at opposite ends of a rope until one drags the other over a central line.”  The non-sports definition is “a situation in which two evenly matched people or factions are striving to keep or obtain the same thing.”  One interesting note of difference: the sports definition has no mention of “evenly matched” teams.

Marriage and Loneliness!

March 24, 2018

I have been single my entire life (and I’m perfectly okay with this) and have dealt with the issue of loneliness from time to time.  And, while many people get married to “escape the pain of being single,” they invariable discover that marriage could be even more painful than solitude.  I found a few quotations about this in the book Oxymoronica.  Apparently some people have figured this out.

“If you are afraid of loneliness, don’t marry.”  (Anton Chekhov)

“Marriage is lonelier than solitude.”  (Adrienne Rich)

“The surest way to be alone is to get married”  (Gloria Steinem)

“Marriage is the only thing that affords a woman the pleasure of company and the perfect sensation of solitude at the same time.”  (Helen Rowland)

So what is the better choice?  Get married?  Or remain single?  Here are some more quotations . . .  enjoy!

“One was never married, and that’s his hell; another is and that’s his plague.”  (Robert Burton)

“Matrimony and bachelorhood are both of them at once equally wise and equally foolish.”  (Samuel Butler)

“It doesn’t matter whether you decide to marry or stay single; either way you’ll be sorry.”  (Socrates)

Source: Oxymoronica by Dr. Mardy Grothe

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

March 17, 2018

Here is a humorous video that I ran across a couple of years ago and felt that we all could use a chuckle on this the Feast of St. Patrick.  Enjoy!