Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Stubbornness!

June 30, 2018

Stubbornness_largeHappy Saturday!  I have known a lot of stubborn people over the years and this demotivator (courtesy of www-dot-despair-dot-com) certainly puts the concept of stubborn-ness, that “dogged determination not to change one’s attitude or position on something” into a whole new perspective for me.  I certainly try to not engage in stubbornness to this level.  I’m more apt to NOT make an issue out of something even when I know it to be wrong, rather than create a scene that, more often than not, is very counterproductive.  I guess this officially makes me “stubborn on the inside.”

Source: demotivator: http://www.despair.com; definition: http://www.dictionary.com

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The Prankster Policeman!

June 26, 2018

Practical jokes can be fun.  I’m not sure I would enjoy being “pranked” this way, but it certainly is funny.

The Sound of “Silence”!

June 24, 2018

Since silence is the absence of sound, the “sound of silence” is an oxymoron, plain and simple.  But this is a popular oxymoronic theme nonetheless.  You hear all sorts of them . . . from “a thundering silence,” to “his silence spoke volumes,” these types of phrases communicate that the meaning behind silence often times “speaks” more than mere words.  Here are some oxymorons on silence.  Enjoy!

“Their very silence is a loud cry.”  (Cicero)

“Often silence is the wisest thing for a man to heed.”  (Pindar)

“Silence.  One of the hardest arguments to refute.”  (Josh Billings)

“Silence is more eloquent than words.”  (Thomas Carlyle)

“Silence is the unbearable repartee.”  (G.K. Chesterton)

“Silence is one of the great arts of conversation.”  (Hannah More)

Source: oxymoronica by Dr. Martha Grode

The Ancients!

June 9, 2018

The ancients, i.e., the people who lived a very long time ago, especially Greeks or Romans, are not immune when it comes to the usage of oxymoronica.  Here are some of my favorites.

“Their very silence is a loud cry.”  (Cicero)

“Often silence is the wisest thing for a man to heed.”  (Pindar)

“Even if you persuade me, you won’t persuade me.”  (Aristophanes)

“Too much liberty leads both men and nations to slavery.”  (Cicero)

“Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s own ignorance.”  (Confucius)

“All my best thoughts were stolen by the ancients.”  (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Source: oxymoronica by Dr. Mardy Grothe

Virtue!

May 31, 2018

Virtue_largeHere is the next demotivator for your viewing pleasure . . . and speaking of virtue, it reminds me of a quotation that my father was fond of repeating: “Patience is a virtue, possess it if you can, seldom found in woman, never found in man.”  Attributed to Father Jonathan Morris, a Roman Catholic priest (born in Ohio, as was my father, but now living in New York).

Some More Police Humor!

May 26, 2018

Happy Saturday!  Here is a new batch of groaners.  Enjoy!

Q.:  Why was the picture sent to jail?
A.:  It was framed.

Q.:  How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A.:  None, it turned itself in.

Q.:  Why did the chicken cross the road?
A.:  We don’t know, but give us five minutes with the chicken and we’ll find out.

A police recruit was asked during the exam, “What would you do if you
had to arrest your own mother?”
He said: “Call for backup.”

A police man pulls over a drunk driver for not stopping at a stop sign and asks the driver if he saw the stop sign. The driver replies “I did but it turned red too fast for me to stop.”

A crook rented an apartment over a police station.
He feels he is “above the law, now!”

Sentimentality!

May 24, 2018

Oxymorons (defined as “a figure of speech in which apparently contradictory terms appear in conjunction”) can be used as descriptions that can totally refute or topple conventional ways of thinking.  Here are a few examples using the word “sentimentality” (defined as “the quality of being excessively or extravagantly sentimental”).

“Sentimentality is the emotional promiscuity of those who have no sentiment.”  (Norman Mailer)

“Sentimentality, the ostentatious parading of excessive and spurious emotion, is the mark of dishonesty, the inability to feel.”  (James Baldwin)

“Sentimentality is the failure of feeling.”  (Wallace Stevens)

Source: oxymoronica by Dr. Martha Grode

 

Some Early Week Humor!

May 22, 2018

Happy Tuesday!  Everybody likes “light bulb” jokes, right? (e.g., how many x does it take to change a light bulb?)  So today, we’ll examine this from the social work discipline.

Question: How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: One. But the light has to want to change.

Or, how about any one of these alternative answers:

  • “The light bulb doesn’t need changing, it’s the system that needs to change.”
  • None. Social workers never change anything.
  • None. They empower it to change itself!
  • None. The light bulb is not burnt out, it’s just differently lit.
  • None. They set up a team to write a paper on coping with darkness.
  • Two. One to change the bulb and another to put your kids into care.
  • Five. One to screw it in, three to form the support group, and one to help with placement.

 

More Oxymoronic Advice!

May 8, 2018

It seems as though everyone you encounter is willing to provide you advice at some point in time.  Here are a few examples of my favorites.

“If a person begins by telling you, ‘Do not be offended at what I am going to say,’ prepare yourself for something that she knows will certainly offend you.”  (Eliza Leslie)

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.”  (Elbert Hubbard)

“Stop running around after happiness.  If you make up your mind not to be happy there’s no reason why you shouldn’t have a fairly good time.”   (Edith Wharton)”

“If you are too careful, you are so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something.”  (Gertrude Stein)

“If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered.”  (Edgar Allan Poe)

Survival!

April 30, 2018

Survival_largeAh, the intersecting point between one’s journey and one’s destination.  And contrary to the reality depicted in this demotivator, it doesn’t always have to end badly.  In nature more often than not, it usually does . . . the whole “survival of the fittest” concept.  We all have our challenges in life, and on some days, to “survive” . . . get through the work day . . . get to the weekend . . . get to the next vacation . . . is good enough.  Keep the faith, and let’s try not to get eaten today!