Archive for the ‘Librarian’ Category

Poking Fun at the Library!

September 28, 2017

Here are some “groaners” on libraries, librarians, and books.  Enjoy!

What is the tallest building in the world?
The library, because it has the most stories.

What do you call a South American librarian who is always in a hurry?
Urgent Tina.

What do you call a teacher who never farts in the library?
A private tutor.

What do you call a book that’s about the brain?
A mind reader.

Why did the librarian win a Lifetime Achievement Award?
She had a storied career.

What’s the longest word in the dictionary?
Smiles. Because there is a mile between each s.

What section of the library can you get biten by a snake?
Hissssssstory.

What has a spine but, no bones?
A book

What did the librarian say to the astronaut?
Find space for a book.

What happened to the ____________ National Library?
Someone stole the book.

 

What did the surfer say to the librarian?
Is my book over dude?

Why did the student throw a book at the Librarian?
He wanted to Face-Book her.

What do Turkish librarians eat for lunch?
Shhhh Kebabs.

What did the frog say when he landed on a book?
Reddit! Reddit! Reddit!

 

Did you hear about the power outage at the _______________ University library?
Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

What do you get when you cross a librarian and a lawyer?
All the information in the world, but you can’t understand a word of it.

Did you hear about the _____________ University Library fire that burned 20 books?
The real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet.

I got hit in the head by a falling book once, I mean, I only have my shelf to blame.

The librarian gave the scientist a book about Helium and he just couldn’t put it down.

You must work in a library because you just increased my circulation!

Source: http://www.jokes4us.com/peoplejokes/librarianjokes.html

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A Librarian’s Alphabet!

September 14, 2017

As I was aimlessly surfing the internet the other day, I stumbled upon this humorous take on the alphabet through the eyes of a librarian.

It starts . . . “A is for Access, a large part of our creed” . . . and continues through “Z is for
Libraries. (In LC classification!)”

Here’s the entire alphabet.  Enjoy!

LibraryHumor.com by Denise Plourde is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 United States License.

 

The Borrower!

March 26, 2017

Happy Sunday!  As we begin the wrap-up th weekend, how about a bit of library humor?  Enjoy!

A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, “I have a complaint!”

“Yes, Ma’am?” said the librarian looking up at her.
“I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible.”

Puzzled by her complaint the librarian asked, “What was wrong with it?”
“It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever,” said the blonde.

The librarian nodded and said, “Ahhh. So you must be the person who took our phone book.”

Library Version!

March 11, 2017

Happy Saturday.  Here is a librarian parody of Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” that was making the rounds on Facebook last month.  Thank you Shoalhaven Library (Nowra, New South Wales, Australia)  Enjoy!

Reading in Fundamental!

December 17, 2016

I remember well the “Reading is FUNdamental” campaign from the mid-60s (and celebrating their 50th Anniversary this year [2016]).  This nonprofit organization was one of the earliest advocates for improving children’s literacy in the United States.  Some quick facts (from http://www.rif.org):

  • 65% = the number of  fourth-graders who can’t read at the 4th-grade level.
  • 80% = the number of low-income children who are “at-risk” of falling behind in school.
  • 8,000 = the number of high school students who dropout each day.

I’m certainly grateful for my literacy and cannot imagine the inability to read.  Here are some of my favorite quotations on the topic of reading.  Enjoy!

“The man who doesn’t read has no advantage over the man who can’t read.” (Author unknown)

“A good book should leave you… slightly exhausted at the end. You live several lives while reading it.”  (William Styron)

“Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book.” (Author unknown)

“You know you’ve read a good book when you turn the last page and feel a little as if you have lost a friend.”  (Paul Sweeney)

“We read in bed because reading is halfway between life and dreaming, our own consciousness in someone else’s mind.”  (Anna Quindlen)

“Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”  (Mark Twain)

“It is better to have your nose in a book than in someone else’s business.”  (Adam Stanley)

Some Librarian Humor!

November 22, 2016

Here’s an oldie, but a goodie based upon the book “Book! Book! Book!” by Deborah Bruss.

A librarian was working late one night at a small-town library. She had the door open for a breeze, and a chicken walked in, hopped up on the desk, and said, “Book, book, book!”

The librarian was a bit startled, but she quickly handed the chicken three books. The chicken put one under each wing, one in its beak, and walked out.

A few minutes later, the chicken returned, dropped those three books on the floor, hopped up on the counter, and said, “Book, book, book!”

Once again, the librarian gave the chicken three books, the chicken tucked one under each wing, took the third in its beak, and walked out.

It must be a full moon tonight, thought the librarian, getting back to her work. Of course, since everything in jokes comes in threes, the chicken came back. It dropped the books on the floor, hopped up, and said, “Book, book, book!”

This time, the librarian decided to get to the bottom of this. She gave three books to the chicken, and when it walked away, she followed it. They went across the parking lot, down into a ditch, and through a damp culvert. Good thing I wore my sensible shoes, she thought. They emerged into a little moonlit pool. There, the chicken stopped in front of the largest bullfrog the librarian had ever seen. He took one look at the books the chicken was carrying and croaked, “Read it, read it, read it!”

Source: this joke was a portion of a children’s book, Book! Book! Book! by Deborah Bruss

Be Bad First!

August 27, 2016

This is the title of a book by Erika Andersen who was the opening keynote speaker at this year’s Special Libraries Association Annual Conference.  The subtitle of the book is “Get Good at Things FAST to Stay Ready for the Future.”  Erika provided an excellent keynote by explaining the new need to learn and to get to the “mastery” stage  as quickly as possible. She identified four skills of mastery:

  • Aspiration — wanting something you don’t currently have.
  • Neutral self-awareness — knowing where you’re starting from and understanding your strengths and weaknesses (in an unbiased way)
  • Endless curiosity — explore and explain, understand and master.
  • Willingness to be bad first — we must be able to embrace the return to the “novice” stage as we learn new things.

Great food for thought.  Time to continue learning new things!

Better Late Than Never!

July 24, 2016

I know it is already July and I should have posted this message back in January, but 2016 marks the 50th anniversary of the Batman television series, starring Adam West (Batman) and Burt Ward (Robin) as the dynamic duo — the official starting date of the series: January 12, 1966; the series ran until March 14, 1968.  And, in honor of this event, here is a bit of librarian humor that I just had to share.  Ah, the memories of “POWS,” and “BAMS.” The novelty of the program made this show an instant hit. Unfortunately, the novelty eventually faded and the campy humor wasn’t sustainable past a couple of seasons.  Twas a simpler and less sophisticated type of television programming, but very entertaining (especially to the younger crowd/audience).  Enjoy!

Eight Years . . . and Counting!

June 24, 2016

Happy Friday, and Happy Anniversary!  Eight years ago today I started blogging and began my journey with The Gun-Carryin’ Librarian.  This endeavor began as a learning opportunity when I undertook the Special Libraries Association’s “23 Things” self-paced course of study.  I had no idea what blogging was and was quite behind the curve on all things Web 2.0.  And, while I am still not an early adopter when it comes to new things/technology, I’m not completely afraid to try them either (thanks to SLA’s 23 Things).

Over the past eight years, I’ve managed . . .

  • more than 3,080 posts
  • more than 255,000 views
  • more than 39,100 visitors

My most popular date — June 14, 2012 (1,091 views).
My most popular day of the week — Thursdays (18% of views).
My most popular hour of the day — 5:00 PM (8% of views).

 

Long Live the Book!

June 18, 2016

The data presented in this infographic is a few years old now, but an interesting validation nonetheless.

book-not-dead