The Rabbi and the Priest . . . !

October 23, 2017

Happy Monday!  How about a bit of humor as we begin the new work week?

A Rabbi and a Priest are driving one day and, by a freak accident, have a head-on collision with tremendous force.

Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither of the clerics has a scratch on him.

After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest’s collar and says, “So you’re a priest. I’m a rabbi. Just look at our cars. There is nothing left, yet we are here, unhurt. This must be a sign from God!”

Pointing to the sky, he continues, “God must have meant that we should meet and share our lives in peace and friendship for the rest of our days on earth.”

The priest replies, “I agree with you completely. This must surely be a sign from God!”

The rabbi is looking at his car and exclaims, “And look at this! Here’s another miracle! My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of Mogen David wine did not break. Surely, God wants us to drink this wine and to celebrate our good fortune.”

The priest nods in agreement. The rabbi hands the bottle to the priest, who drinks half the bottle and hands the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap on, then hands it back to the priest.

The priest, baffled, asks, “Aren’t you having any, Rabbi?”

The rabbi replies, “Nah… I think I’ll wait for the police.”

Source: https://unijokes.com/cop-jokes/7/

Advertisements

College Football 2017, Week Eight!

October 22, 2017

The Spartans continue to win! Despite trailing at the end of the third quarter, Michigan State found their offense in the fourth quarter for a come from behind victory over the Hoosiers of Indiana.   In the top-25, there are only eight (8) undefeated teams remaining and there continue to be five Big Ten teams in the rankings (Penn State [#2], Wisconsin [#5], Ohio State [#6], Michigan State [#18], and Michigan [#19]).   Next up for the Spartans: back on the road to take on the Wildcats of Northwestern.  Go Green!

The upsets this week included:
USC (#11) losing to Notre Dame (#13).

The close calls this week (games that were won by a touchdown or less) included:
Oklahoma (#9) defeating unranked Kansas State by seven (7) points.
Oklahoma State (#10) defeating unranked Texas by three (3) points in overtime.
South Florida (#16) defeating unranked Tulane by six (6) points.
West Virginia (#23) defeating unranked Baylor by two (2) points.
Memphis (#25) defeating unranked Houston by four (4) points.

Top-25 match-ups won by the higher-ranked team included:
Penn State (#2) defeating Michigan (#19).

Also Know As . . . !

October 21, 2017

1024px-Great_Wave_off_Kanagawa2The term AKA (which stands for, also known as) originated in the United States in the mid-twentieth century as a way of designating a person with additional names or aliases.  Here are the aliases for the Japanese master artist and printmaker Hokusai (Katsushika Hokusai) who was born near this date in 1760 (the exact date is not certain).  It has been reported that Hokusai had numerous pseudonyms during his lifetime (more than thirty), and while I cannot ascertain each and every one of them, here are a few of the more popular ones used by this artist:

  • Gakyōjin
  • Shunrō
  • Taito
  • Sōri
  • Manji
  • Iitsu
  • Kakō

Pictured above: “The Great Wave Off Kanagawa,” by far his most famous and recognized work.

 

Fun Fact Friday, Number Forty-Six!

October 20, 2017

Today’s real facts (courtesy of http://www.snapple.com) are all about mosquitoes.  Did you know that . . .

  • mosquitoes are attracted to people who just ate a banana? (Real Fact #10)
  • mosquitoes have 478 teeth? (Real Fact #50)
  • only female mosquitoes bite?  (Real Fact #725)

Source: http://www.snapple.com/real-facts

A Ridiculous Discovery, Part 2!

October 19, 2017

Here is the finishing part of the poem “A Ridiculous Discovery,” generally attributed to Thomas, the sixth Earl of Harrington (circa 1730).  Enjoy!

A Ridiculous Discovery (Part 2)

 

The silly captain, joined for life,
Was hugely happy in his wife;
And, though it was but early day,
Would not  the nuptial rites delay;
But threw her down upon a bed,
and took (he thought) her maidenhead:
Though this had put him in a sweat,
He did again the joy repeat.
Then, smiling, told her, that, at night,
He’d take his fill of dear delight;
But now he had some miles to ride,
“Farewell,” said he, “my lovely bride.”
Then straightway to a sutler’s tent,
To meet some friends in raptures went;
Who, angry at his long delay,
Asked what the devil made him stay?

To this the captain, smiling, said,
“I own that I too long have stayed
“But, when the reason’s understood,”
“You’ll  grant that my excuse is good:
“I from  the major’s just now came,
“And, spurred and booted as I am,
“I twice did f—– his daughter Nan,
“Pray am not I a happy man?”
“Yet, by my soul, I tell you true,
“Others have done’t as well as you.”
A surly officer replied,
“Last night I that fine virgin tried,
“And can’t admit of your excuse,
“Since I thrice f——-d her in my shoes.”

The captain said, “Upon my life,
“You joke, for Nanny is my wife.”

Note: printed on the page following the title page was the following: “from a collection of poems that have been generally ascribed to Thomas, sixth Earl of Harrington. He was the son of Charles, the fifth Earl, and Margaret Lesslie, Countess of Rothes; and fought on the Royal side at the battle of Shirreffmuir, along with his brother John Lesslie, Earl of Rothes, and his own son, Lord Binning. These poems, according to Pinkerton, were printed about 1730, and have been reprinted in 1753, 1765, 1767, and 1777. He was also the author of Mia treatise on forest trees, which has gone through several editions. He died in 1735.” However, if these dates are correct (and I am by no means an expert historian in such matters), these poems could only have been written by either the first or second Earl of Harrington (William Stanhope and W.S. Jr.).

A Ridiculous Discovery, Part One!

October 18, 2017

Here is the next installment of poetry generally attributed to Thomas, the sixth Earl of Harrington (circa 1730).  Enjoy!

A Ridiculous Discovery (Part 1)

I’m far from thinking women bad,
Yet whores for certain may be had;
And since no man may be secure,
The wife he takes is chaste and pure,
Until he tries her, and even then
Tricks may be played to cunning men;
Since this is very oft the way,
Men should be cautious what they say,
Nor make a bustle, nor a noise,
Of maidenheads and wedlock joys;
Lest, talking to an idle strain,
They something hear may give them pain:
Especially if it is not known
The dame they talk of is their own:
For men when overpowered with wine,
To tell adventures oft incline,
And to a husband may discover,
He was his wife’s successful lover.

This happened to a man I knew,
(What I’m to tell is really true)
A silly fellow, black and tall,
Whom I, for sound, shall captain call:
Although that a lieutenant’s post
Was all this man of war could boast:
Who, though he was almost a sot,
Yet had good store of money got;
But wearied with a single life,
Wisely resolved to take a wife.

The major’s daughter, young and gay,
Had stole his booby heart away:
Of all her sex she was his choice,
She seemed to him a mine of joys,
And that he would be surely blessed,
If she would grant him his request;
While she, who never had man denied,
As soon as asked, with joy complied.

. . .  to be continued with Part 2 tomorrow!

Note: printed on the page following the title page was the following: “from a collection of poems that have been generally ascribed to Thomas, sixth Earl of Harrington. He was the son of Charles, the fifth Earl, and Margaret Lesslie, Countess of Rothes; and fought on the Royal side at the battle of Shirreffmuir, along with his brother John Lesslie, Earl of Rothes, and his own son, Lord Binning. These poems, according to Pinkerton, were printed about 1730, and have been reprinted in 1753, 1765, 1767, and 1777. He was also the author of Mia treatise on forest trees, which has gone through several editions. He died in 1735.” However, if these dates are correct (and I am by no means an expert historian in such matters), these poems could only have been written by either the first or second Earl of Harrington (William Stanhope and W.S. Jr.).

Pretty Ordinary!

October 17, 2017

Having been raised in the country, far from the hustle and bustle of the busier and more frenetic pace of an urban lifestyle, things were very simple and ordinary.   The demotic stories of my childhood are simple when compared to some of the older literary masterpieces that are told in a stiff and higher-flowing style.

demotic

\ dih-mot-ik \, adjective;

1.  of or relating to the ordinary, everyday, current form of a language; vernacular.

2.  of or relating to the common people; popular.
3.  of, relating to, or noting the simplified form of hieratic writing used in ancient Egypt between 700 b.c. and a.d. 500.

noun
4.  demotic script.
5.  (initial capital letter). Also called Romaic.   The Modern Greek vernacular (distinguished from Katharevusa ).

Source: The Highly Selective Dictionary for the Extraordinarily Literate by Eugene Ehrlich and http://www.dictionary.com

The Heart Transplant!

October 16, 2017

Happy Monday!  Well, since it is just the start of the week, how about a little humor (courtesy of Community Care) to help us get going this morning?  Let me first apologize both to social workers as well as to attorneys (just in case they don’t find the humor in this joke).

A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital ER.

The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away.

Another doctor runs into the room and says, “you’re in luck, two hearts just became available, so you will get to choose which one you want. One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social worker.”

The man quickly responds, “the attorney’s.”

The doctor says, “Wait! Don’t you want to know a little about them before you make your decision?”

The man says, “I already know enough. We all know that social workers are bleeding hearts and the attorney’s probably never used his.  So I’ll take the attorney’s!”

Source: http://www.communitycare.co.uk/2007/12/14/top-ten-social-work-jokes-from-community-cares-crackers/

College Football 2017, Week Seven!

October 15, 2017

Following their win over ranked Michigan last week, the Spartans found themselves ranked in the top 25 (the first time since the 2015 season) which raised the number of ranked Big Ten teams to five (Penn State [#3], Wisconsin [#7], Ohio State [#9], Michigan [#17], and Michigan State [#21]).  The Spartans hung on for the win against the Golden Gophers of the University of Minnesota. And, while playing great defense for three full quarters (despite several miscues), the Spartans allowed the Gophers to score three touchdowns in the fourth quarter to make for an exciting finish.   Next up for the Spartans: at home hosting the Hoosiers of Indiana.  Go Green!

The upsets this week included:
Clemson (#2) losing to unranked Syracuse by three (3) points.
Washington (#5) losing to unranked Arizona State.
Washington State (#8) losing to unranked California.
Auburn (#10) losing to unranked LSU by four (4) points.
San Diego State (#19) losing to unranked Boise State.
Texas Tech (#24) losing to unranked West Virginia.
Navy (#25) losing to unranked Memphis by three (3) points.

The close calls this week (games that were won by a touchdown or less) included:
Miami (#11) defeating unranked Georgia Tech by one (1) point.
Oklahoma (#12) defeating unranked Texas by five (5) points.
Michigan (#17) defeating unranked Indiana by seven (7) points in overtime.
USC (#13) defeating unranked Utah by one (1) point.
Michigan State University (#21) defeating unranked Minnesota by three (3) points.

Top-25 match-ups won by the higher-ranked team included:
None.

Cheesecake of the Month – October 2017!

October 14, 2017

Happy Saturday! Last month I ran across a video that demonstrated how to create a “mirror glaze” cake (see below).  So I then thought, hmm, I wonder if there is a “cheesecake” version.  And, lo and behold, yes there is (several as a matter of fact).   Here’s a link to the version that appeared in Canadian Living magazine back in 1995.